Clashings & Miscommunication

Growing up in India, my parents were raised in strict and harsh households with very little accessibility to anything. My mom would have to walk three miles just to get to her nearest school. My dad had grown up on a farm, and sometimes, he would also have to walk miles to school because of the lack of accessibility to vehicles in his childhood. Both of them grew up in very tyranny-filled households. No wasn’t an answer. They brought these teachings along with them their entire lives; this includes throughout college (where they both met), when they got married, and when they came to America. Once immigrated to America and had my older brother, they enforced these teachings on him. Once having me, they once again implemented these teachings on me.

Being it mandatory to understand these teachings, throughout my childhood, I found myself constantly clashing with my parents, causing me to never truly experience what it meant to have a peaceful relationship with others (especially my own family). But now as I get older, I realize that all this clashing was due to miscommunication on both sides. For them, growing up in India, it was the norm for kids to grow up in harsh environments. However, being born and raised in America, I always heard stories from my friends about their loving and compassionate stories about their parents; this always caused me to be filled with jealousy, wishing I could grow up in a happy family life.

Every day while coming home, yearning for peace was the only way I could feel tranquil for the rest of the day. Having an age difference with my brother of 7 years, it was already very difficult to connect and have a relationship with him. With all the misunderstandings and miscommunication transpiring between my parents and me, I could never truly connect and convey my feelings to someone.

As I grew older, I realized that in a house full of miscommunication, it’s okay to not always see eye-to-eye; however, it is good to be able to communicate your feelings without quarrels occurring. At some point, I decided that I was done with all the misunderstandings happening within my family, so I sat down with them to have a heartful discussion with them. We promised each other to be understanding of one another, and we let all our feelings out. It was a great way for my parents and me to not only solve our misunderstandings but understand each other even more; in fact, the only reason I had such a difficult time during my childhood was because of miscommunication. The key to having peace within your family is communication. Letting your feelings out is a way to bond with others while creating closer personal relationships. On both sides, it’s important to be deferential to both points of view. You don’t necessarily have to agree, but when you’re deferential, you and the other person will both feel more comfortable with each other and learn to accept the other's opinions more easily.

Sometimes, it can be hard to relate to your family with their feelings but don’t carry a burden because of it. As teens, whenever it’s hard for us to do something, we carry this burden filled with guilt on our backs, which we don’t have to do. You don’t have to force yourself to connect to others at all times. In some of your relationships, you’ll relate on some levels, and in others, you’ll relate on different levels, which is perfectly fine. As long as you're at peace with yourself, it’s okay to disagree and not relate at times.